The Power of Self-Pleasure

Do you know what your body likes and desires? Do you want connect more intimately with your partner, or just feel more confident saying what you want? We all deserve to feel empowered in our sex life. Today’s guest is an expert in the sexual wellness space and is about to teach you how to experience more pleasure and feel more connected to your body. 

Kiana Reeves is an educator, practitioner, speaker, and leading voice in the sexual wellness movement. Her approach is wholistic and includes the emotional, biological, social, and spiritual nature of sex & intimacy. Her work in this field ultimately led her to join Foria as Chief Content Officer, where she has helped grow and shape the sexual wellness brand over the last five years.

In this episode, Kiana explains how masturbating really is self care, beneficial from a health perspective and can improve your overall sex life. We cover the science behind orgasms, how to experience more pleasure, and how to communicate your desires with your partner. We also talk about removing shame from the equation when it comes to sex, and embracing vulnerability. Whether you already feel sexually empowered or don’t even know where to start, we know this conversation will inspire you to try something new & have a better sex life.

“Masturbation and orgasms can boost your immune system, it can support your sleep, it’s really good at resetting your response to stress and lowering cortisol. When you orgasm and when you’re touching your body or masturbating, experiencing pleasure, you’re releasing dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. All of those chemical cocktails really play a role in feeling powerful, creative and connected.” Kiana Reeves


What we talk about:

  • Our Thanksgiving plans

  • Raeann’s latest date story

  • The activity that’s changing Kristina’s life for the better right now

  • Feeling FOMO from social media

  • Is dating in NYC better than in LA?

  • Thoughts on the recent season of Love Is Blind 

  • Viewing masturbation as self care

  • How masturbating impacts your sex life with a partner

  • The science behind the positive effects and health benefits of self pleasure

  • How to be more comfortable with masturbating

  • Addressing the shame around self-pleasure 

  • Embodiment practices for self-pleasure

  • Kiana’s recommendations for beginner tools and toys

  • Destigmatizing the use of lube

  • The pressure we put on sexual performance

  • What impacts our arousal and sexual pleasure physiologically

  • Can using a vibrator “too much” be a negative thing?

  • How to get out of your head during sex

  • How to have the best or multiple orgasms

  • Tips for talking to your partner about sex

  • How and when to communicate what you want with your partner

  • Ask Away: Is it okay to not have a “wild phase”?


“To destigmatize the use of lube: When you introduce lube, research shows that all parties experience more pleasure.” - Kiana Reeves

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

“When you expand your pleasure capacity and pathways, what’s possible in your body alone really impacts what’s possible in your body with a partner.” - Kiana Reeves

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